I thought I will never have to come here again to blog about my bad days. But I do!
Fuck!
Took leave today for some reasons.
Jogging in the morning in preparation for the Standard Chartered Run
Shopping for groceries in order to prepare dinner for my girlfriend
Prepare dinner for her
Write roleplay for my virtual wrestling game
Last of all, have a relaxing day without work
It’s just 11 in the morning and I feel that it keeps getting worse!
FUCK!
I have not felt like this since……….. that time… ( I won’t say what it is)
FUCK!!!
I feel like we’ve been pissing each other off every week. She keeps opening that damn can of worms and I keep finding new stuff to piss her off. How wonderful.
FUCK!!!!!!
I should never have took leave today, I’m happier working and talking with my colleagues instead of sulking at home.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!
I’ve decided to watch 2012 by myself in the afternoon. I have said I will not watch movie alone because it just feel sad. The fact that I am comtemplating it means my mood has reached an extremely low point. The only time I watched a movie alone was 3 years ago. That time I was still fresh from a break up and my mood was very lousy. SHIT!! The same unpleasant feeling again, only this time, anger is thrown in the mix.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
It’s 11am, I’m tired, angry,miserable and hungry………. FUCK MY LIFE!!!
For most working people out there, here are some interesting “Out of office” notifications you can use (at your own risk)
1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.
I may be a little moody so be prepared.
2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.
3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor’s having my brain removed so I can be promoted to our management team.
4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again.
(The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over.)
7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8. Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9. I’ve run away to join a different circus.
10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as ” Sharon ” instead of “Steve”.
So I was walking around the basement of Takashimaya shopping centre where an event is held parading mooncakes and stuff. Walked like two or three rounds the place, tasting whatever mooncakes available.
Just couldn’t find the right taste that I had in mind. Certainly they looked the same but the difference comes from the lotus paste used to make the lovely pastries. In my mind, I always loved a certain texture and sweetness of the lotus paste. I know where to get it but I did not because the packaging looked very plain. Being eager to please Sharon’s mum (yeah, first proper impression gotta count alot here) I looked for something that taste just as good and comes with a pleasant looking packaging.
Finally I found it! From Ritz-Carlton Hotel! Here’s a shot of it.
Quite a milestone in my life. This problem has been bothering me for far too long now. My left lower wisdom tooth is growing out horizontally and the one on top is growing longer than it should causing much discomfort when I eat.
Been delaying this because of money issues. People who know me should understand that I went through a period of NO INCOME. And the funny thing is that once I have the income, I do not have the time coz of work.
Kinda makes you feel like a fool living as such doesn’t it? Oh well, in the real world, “you can’t have your cake and eat it”. Anyways, I finally went for the extraction on 30 Sep. Even though I went through the local anesthetic , which means I am still conscious going through the whole procedure. What an experience… The good thing is that I don’t have to see what’s going on in my mouth but the bad thing is I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON! The drilling and cutting sounds sure don’t make it any better… I was afraid that they will cut my gums or my tongue, either way, I can’t feel anything but see lotza blood out of my mouth.
So if you’re a vividly imaginative person, it’s hell for you. Otherwise, you just sit there and open your mouth wide and let the dentist do his job. The anesthetic works like magic, I can’t feel much pain around my left jaw but I can feel the tugging at my tooth. Not pleasant at all.
After the whole thing was done, I find myself talking very funny. Just mumbling through my words.
Met Sharon for dinner and for her to pass me the tickets for her performance on sunday. To be honest, I’m not a huge fan of hip hop (as I mentioned earlier before in this blog) but coz of her I’m giving her my full support. Don’t mistake this as something I don’t like and yet force myself to do. It’s more of looking at things in her shoes and learning to appreciating the differences in preferences and taste.
She’s very passionate in her dancing and I am glad that she has drive for her hobbies and activities.
But coming back to the topic of this entry, “Self centered”. While we’re walking from Bugis to Dhoby Ghaut, she said that she did a personality test for me and the result is that I am self centered. No surprises there. I must stress the fact that I was not such a person years ago. I used to think for others, help others and very sensitive to others. As time passes by, I’ve experienced very saddening events, seen vicious people and suffered one way or the other.
All these transformed me to be more self centered over time. However, I still reserve my soft side to people who mattered. No names needed here because they know who they are.
I come to this realisation “Nobody in the world owe me anything. They have no obligation to help me. Only I am my own saviour. I leave my fate in my own hands and only I can help myself any given time of the day.”
I’m not saying everyone in the world are assholes but one gotta understand that nobody in the world will always be there to help you but only you yourself. In order for you to help yourself, you need to satisfy your own needs and wants and make yourself matter most to yourself only. Only then can you help yourself with all the resources you gather AND only after you have satisfy your own needs and wants, then can you offer help to others.
I did not think of that 5-6 years and always helped other people at my own expenses and became a very sad and miserable man. I had enough of that and started to seal myself and satisfy my own needs and wants before all others. I am only paying tribute to the phase “all things start from me”.
Readers, after reading this, you still think that I am wrong in being self centered, then you have missed the punchline… or you simply have not experienced what I went through.
This was kinda impromptu. Was expecting to meet Sharon for that night but it did not turn out that way. I was disappointed and unhappy over it. However, I quickly got over it and started finding people to meet up with.
Aldrick is meeting his gal for dinner, so I better not disturb them. Ken is meeting his friend. So I scan thru my phonebook for any single and eligible guys. And I found Huey Shyang. Somehow thinking of Huey Shyang = beer. And that’s how I ask him out. As soon as he picked up the call, I just asked “Beer?” “Ok, what time?” “Anytime soon?” “Where?” “Town”
That’s quick. And that’s actually because he’s in a raid in WoW (World of Warcraft) so he can’t afford to talk much. Anyways, while waiting for him, I walked around orchard. Went to Kinokuniya and bought books. This is the shitty part about me. When I feel down, I see things I like, I just buy and don’t care about the price… I looked at the books I bought and I realised I bought 2 mangas that I probably will never read. I bought the final issue of “100 Bullets”, that will take like 2 hours to read. Lastly, “blink” by Malcolm Gladwell.
Walked around again and took train to city hall. Walked over to the library to return a book which I never read……. Then walked back to city hall to meet Huey Shyang. To Timbre we go and wait…. wait….. sweat…. wait…. sweat…. for like 2 hours!!! That is the longest I ever had to wait to go into anywhere… But the timing was perfect. We sat down, the band performing is 53A. I remember Adda talking about a band with a female lead, which I think is this band. Anyway, we sat down, they are doing sound test, our pint of Erdinger came and the music starts! Food came later and we ate and listened to the music. Totally awesome! I mean they played most of the songs I loved back when I was a teenager and some current hits as well. The bands there always play Jason Marz – I’m Yours and this night is no different.
The lead singer is Sara Wee. I remember a joke with Huey Shayng that we easily have the hots for girls who play guitars/bass. And Sara Wee is awesome. Rock chick! And her hot factor went sky rockering when they did a cover of Wondergirls – Nobody. I like the way she move her hips.
The band is very lively. Alvin Khoo is a good guitarist, he plays the solos very well and I am totally awed. I have not seen such good live guitar solos since awhile back. The bassist, Bani Hidir is the most lively and show playing of all. He leads the singing in a few songs and I was totally blown away when they did a Metallica cover. He was great singing that cover.
Overall, the music atmosphere was wonderful. Side note: I cannot understand why some people can just sit there like stone… They should be banned from such places and leave the seats to people who love live band music. Screw those women who just sit and pretend they like the music. And I realised only the older crowd really get into the music. The young ones probably don’t know anything about the rock music during my time. They just sat and listen…. SAD and listen….
We left after the second set. It seems the music and beer is too much for us to handle. We walked around CHIJMES, talking nonsense and shit about everything in our lives. I gave some advice to him regarding this interesting issue he has. I say “GO FOR IT!!!” dude, you only live once. So “GO FOR IT!!!”
We spent like the next hour talking shit about our responsibilities and how f*** we feel towards fulfilling it… I like hanging with him. He knows the shit I go through and vice versa.
Here we are, one year together. Among the happiness and sadness and stupid quarrels and disagreements. We have reached this milestone. I am quite amazed at myself to be honest. I don’t quite understand why I continue to stand her nonsense and chose to stick with her… Somehow being stupid helps.
Anyway, just to confess. I did not like how the first half of our one year started out. It started like shit. I totally hate Sharon. Pretty obvious from how I write about her some time ago. Can I forget that? No. Can I forgive her? No. Why? Because she did not sincerely apologise. But oh well, let it be.
I tend to let all unhappiness be buried within me and I will wait for that one fine day where someone walks over and opens that pandora box. I will love to see hell when that happens. For the record, hell always happens when someone touches that pandora box.
Negativity aside, I bought a pair of tickets to the flyer, not just any tickets but the cocktail package. From what I read on the website, it just says it comes with cocktail and a VIP treatment where we get to cut queues! I love that! But it was more than that as we found out later that night. So, before we got to the flyer, we watch UP (in 3D glory). Here’s the punchline, both of us bought the tickets for the same show, at the same timeslot, at the same cinema without letting the other party know. We ended up with 4 tickets for two people. That was a good joke really.
The movie was funny and touching as well. Well, actually just one scene. But that was very well done. The touching part hits you in the head so bad that you can only drop your tears after seeing what comes next.
So after the movie, we took a cab to the flyer (or at least my proposal) collected the tickets, took our champange glasses, dined at popeye’s chicken and off we go. *pause* I was supposed to notify Jason earlier to bring my couple ring but it was too late so we got ushered in before the prop arrived *unpause* We got ushered right into the capsule. We were led right up to our VERY OWN capsule! We were in for a surprise! I thought we had to share the capsule with 8 other people or something but NO! We had the whole thing to ourselves! AWESOME! We can walk around freely and almost whatever we want. It’s lovely… Never have I felt so priviledged in my life. This is good. Better than I even imagined in my life.
The night view is breath-taking to say the least. Hold on, it’s not just night view, we can see glimpse of the sunset across the city landscape. I loved it! I’m a man of sunsets if you must know because everything just goes romantic after sunset.
I was absorbed by everything that I did not bother to take much photos. It was so nice. I feel like I could die for her there and then (only). I cross my heart!
After 30 minutes, it was back to the platform. That was money very well spent. I admit it was a abit steep but well spent. So couples, next time you know where to go
My mum and aunts decided to go shopping on National Day (09 Aug). Actually, they wanted to go ION Orchard and take a look at what’s the hype about it. Personally I feel it is all hype. The more I go there, the more criticism I have for it.
Anyway, me and my mum went to Dhoby Ghaut to meet up with Belinda and her mum and my 4th aunt. Had lunch at the foodcourt. The bak chor mee comes in large servings! Very worth it!
We walked around PS and this is where I bought my couple ring! Tada!
Waited around for another 20 minutes for my 3rd aunt to arrive. I gotta admit it looks damn weird seeing my cousin Asher pushing the baby pram around.
His baby is Dylan and I kinda warm up to him. He’s cute but seldom smiles…
A very impromptu meeting with Sharon on 8 Aug. We did not have plans to meet up that evening. I had all intentions to do some shopping alone and to shop for the gift for 10 Aug (our mark of one year being together). I did manage to buy a pair of working pants from G2000. Damn cheap sale. Must buy! You ask me why am I so cheapo? Coz it for work! it is for work. So why in GOD’s name and grace do I need to dress so nice to work?
Anyway, after buying the pants I went to ION Orchard to meet her. Walked around aimlessly. We explored the newly opened Uniqlo outlet there. I saw Gundam T Shirts!!! OMG! OH MY GOD! Gundam shirts!!! Lalala. I so happily hopped to that section but…….. too kiddish for my taste. Nothing smashing or nice…
After walking around… Went to Heaven’s Loft @ Orchard Central for a bite.
